Dealing With Relationship Choices Your Adult Children Make (Part 2)

3. Getting Married Too Young. Unfortunately some young adult children fall in love for the first time, think it's forever, and decide to get married very quickly. As their parents - with age, wisdom, and experience on our sides - we of course disapprove of this. At the very least we are worried when one of our children decides to marry too quickly, or at too young of an age.

We can try to discuss the decision with them in detail of course, and we can even try to solicit outside help from our church pastor, friends, or relationship counselors. In the end though of course, if the children decide to go through with their marriage, all you can do is try to be supportive - whether it works out in the end or not.

4. Getting Divorced. Another common problem of relationships today is divorce. The divorce rates in the United States alone are now over 50%, and this just seems to keep growing. If your adult children decide to get divorced, there may be little to nothing you can do about it. You may however, be able to have them try counseling first, and that may or may not help. You may also try to talk to them privately yourself, and attempt to see just how severe the problems are.

One of the reasons for such high divorce rates these days may be that everyone wants things to happen too quickly, and too easily. So by talking to your adult child privately, you might be able to determine if they are not really willing to put themselves into the relationship enough to make it work.

Depending on your child and their particular relationship of course, this may do no good in the end. Whatever happens though, do your best to be supportive as much as you possibly can. Don't take sides in the divorce either, and be sure to maintain a consistent relationship with the grandchildren if you have them.

5. Same Sex Partnerships. This particular relationship choice is the cause of many severe family conflicts. There are some parents who cannot and will not accept the idea of their son or daughter having a same sex relationship.

There is no changing their mind though. As the more mature adult with longer and fuller life experiences, it is up to you to try your best to at least tolerate your child's relationship choices.

The definition of tolerating will vary from one person to another however. Some parents welcome their adult child for visits without their partner, while others accept the partner coming along too. Some parents have no problem with shows of affection between the adult child and their chosen partner, while others prohibit any kind of loving display while they're around.

Know this though: How you react to your adult child's relationship decision will have a severe impact on the relationship you have with that child in the future. If your child is in love with and committed to a partner of the same sex, then in their mind they are married and they'll want you to accept that person as their spouse. If you choose to not compromise in any way, you run the risk of never seeing or hearing from your adult child again.

So do your best to choose wisely and rationally how you respond to your adult children's relationship choices. Even if you can't stand the choices they've made, it may be much worse to not have that child in your life at any time in the future.

For more information about parenting your adult children, visit http://www.yourlifeafter50.com/category/children/adult-children/. Jerry is the parent of two "grown" children and lives this every day.

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